abraham washington, america’s finest presidential name combination, once said “clothes make the man”. and while he was right about most things (negative points for saying kimmy gibbler was going to get her own spin-off show titled kimmy a break!), he also wasn’t rightest about clothes making a man. toddland is now here to append this wisdom nugget with “toddland clothes make the man… famous”. the toddland magical scientists have been hard at work running experiments with controlled environments (like magneto’s genosha) and now, back from lunch, they are present to present their findings:
“we, the toddland magical scientists of fantasy and solutions, are proud to announce that toddland clothing (accessories are still being tested) transfer mere men into famous men. after our exhausting experiments of looking at two (2) images and debating whether the men photographed are in fact wearing toddland AND also famous, we can publish our conditional statement that if one (1) wears toddland, then they are famous. we joyfully provide the two (2) images that were under strict scrutiny.
here we have a photograph of three (3) random men. upon closer deduction (since we ARE scientists), we deduce that these men are tony hawk (famous), mark mothersbaugh (famous), and christian jacob (famous). tony hawk was an average skateboard enthusiast until he dawned the toddland lowie flannel. then he became kind of a big deal with said skateboard. mark mothersbaugh was a man with a beat in his energy domed head. then he wore his specially-made red toddland greatest pants and became the man behind devo, wes anderson soundtracks, mutato founder, and recurring guest star on childrens tv show, yo gabba gabba! last man pictured (left to right), is christian jacobs, who was a fellow that liked to sing. once these toddland greatest pants in green were pulled up (one leg at a time, just like everyone else), he formed the band the aquabats, co-created yo gabba gabba! and can be seen weekly as the mc bat commander on the show the aquabats super show!
onto exhibit b:
here we have five (5) random males. they were given toddland greatest pants specially made for them and this experiment in white, and those males quickly became the band known as maroon 5 (five). they toured with their musical instruments, and whenever a show landed on a friday, they titled their show “friday night whites” and enveloped themselves in white, including these toddland pants.
thank you for your precious time, dummies.”
from these findings we have find that toddland clothing will two out of two times make you famous, and that toddland scientists are jerks.
this iPhone app (which is only 99 cents – the price of anything in a 99 cent store) is like the classic game memory where you have to match like tiles. but here’s the part you better be sitting down for: